April's Life Adventures


Experiences in my life that hopefully always lead to happiness. My joys, my sorrows, my kids, my world.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Unfair

We are told pretty much all of our lives that life is not fair. Sometimes we believe our elders when they would tell us this because it was usually during some time in our lives that we couldn't get our way. I usually ignored this statement of fact and chose to believe that in the great scheme of things, essentially life could be fair. Everything could work out for the best if you believed enough... Call me an eternal optimist if you like, but that is how I choose to believe.

As my last blog stated, I just lost a baby. I see this as completely unfair. We are good parents and we love our children fiercely. We would do anything for our little ones and essentially, we do. We love, nurture, teach, comfort, and everything else that a good parent is supposed to do. Our little girls are happy and healthy... Then, I look out there in the world and see so many people who don't even want a child ending up as parents. Why is it that I couldn't bring this wonderful child into my family, when I wanted it so badly. I can answer my own question. I have been taught from my youth that there is a great and noble plan out there with taylor made trials. Each one of us are here on this earth for a purpose. I may get frustrated at times and want to pound my head against a wall asking for different trials, but I have to keep reminding myself that there are many things that I would not want to go through in my life.

Essentially, I am attempting to crawl my way back from the pit of depression that I have fallen into. I am attempting to remind myself that life is not fair, but we can still find happiness in the many good and glorious things that do happen in my life. Yes, I can be sad for the loss that I have suffered, but I can also rejoice that I have two healthy and happy little girls to call my own. This blog, I suppose was more for me than for anyone out there who stumbles onto my virtually unknown little site here. Wish me luck, I still have a long climb ahead of me, but at least I can now see the sun again. There is always hope for the next pregnancy, and in the mean time, I am going to go play with my girls.

Posted by April_Mommy :: 10:28 AM :: 2 comments

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